Tips For Hosts-
- "Don't let
perfect get in the way of good" I have learned this quote
the past year and it is so true. Just do it. Don't make it a big
thing. Nobody expects perfection, and if they did... maybe they
aren't the right people to invite to your house. Just saying. A
great friend or family member would just feel happy to be invited
into your sacred space.
- Do or make something that allows you to actually HANG
out with your guests. Whatever that is. Make a soup to
share, pre-prep, make a batch cocktail. You aren't a server and
unless it is a super intimate dinner party, do yourself a favor and
join your guests.
- Be Clear and Have Boundaries- If you don't
tell someone something, how will they ever know? This is more for
the American audience- How many times has someone asked you if they
should take off their shoes, and you felt bad and said... "Nah,
don't worry about it" You immediately set a lax rule in your home.
I say this is for the American audience because it is very normal
to remove your shoes in house's overseas. BE CLEAR in what you
want, speak up. You won't hurt anyone's feelings, if anything you
will help them because guests want clear guidelines. You just
aren't doing that with them... sorry you aren't. You are not the
only one, I have done it many a time. Don't feel bad. Just be
better next time. This is also part of not being able to ask for
help from others. Something I am personally looking at in myself.
Which makes sense that the next tip would be...
- Ask For Help- It is ok. Reach out and see if
friends want to cook together. Get out of your head. Step outside
of your comfort zone. Nothing bothers me more than going to a
friend's house for dinner and not being able to help. I always
offer, and they usually say "Nah, you relax" NOPE, give them a
task.
- Ask Someone OUTSIDE of your inner onion- Don't
be afraid to ask someone you haven't before to join a gathering.
They are aren't going to invite themselves, and you probably think
they don't want to be bothered, or aren't that close of a friend. I
have news for you, new friends are out there. Much like the truth.
HEHE Xfiles... No seriously, there are new friends just waiting to
be had, you just have to be brave enough to reach out to them.
- Have some sort of ice breaker or game handy.
Have a theme, a topic to delve into, or a game/ question handy that
helps smooth out awkward conversations. Give the event a reason,
even if it is hang in your pj's night.
- Don't sit people who came together. It is a no
no if you are doing a seating chart or sitting down to dinner.
Spark new conversations and connections by spitting up couples and
close friends.
- Set up your home for success- Do you need to
ask others to BYOC- Bring Your Own Chair? or BYOB- Bring Your Own
Blanket? Do so. Many hands lifts heavy things easily.
- Standing and Seperating- Do it all. Have
spaces for others and encourage guests to spread out and take up
space in different parts of the room. Encourage mingling while
standing or hanging in the kitchen.... #10
- KITCHEN TAKEOVER- Have friends take over your
kitchen for a day. It's a thing, you should try it. It's fun.
- Don't worry about Your Place Being Spotless-
When I get invited to someone's home, I personally feel so a part
of their lives that their average everyday "stuff" is out.
Paperwork, unread letters or bills. The fact that they are
comfortable with me seeing that part of their lives. Not the cookie
cutter version of what people want them to see. A home doesn't have
to be picture perfect to host. It should be warm and welcoming. I
mean, don't leave your dirty underwear out or anything, but don't
obsess that everything has to be PERFECT. Otherwise you won't ever
host.
- You Don't Always Need Food- Having quick
hangouts with friends is a great way to warm up your home and make
it welcoming. Maybe tea for an hour after work? Sorting through
some old photos you need help with. Hanging pictures? Open up your
idea box and invite some friends to hang without food. Just be
clear in what kind of gathering you are having.
- Be Spontaneous- Don't wait and plan an event
in the future. Sometimes you will get so excited for an idea and
then as the date. approaches you are dreading it. It happens to
guests and to hosts. MIX IT UP! If the mood takes you, open your
home this evening! Throw some texts out there and see who bites!
Imagine this- If you are excited to hang out this evening, the
people who say yes to your invitation are equally excited! How
could you not have an excellent time when both moods are aligned?
You may not get a ton of guests, but learning to be more flexible
will guarantee surprise and welcoming events for your future :) It
is also the best kind of infectious thing. Once you do this with
others, they will feel more confident to offer it to you as
well.
For Guests- Some Simple Tips to Follow.
- Take Off Your Shoes- Always, don't ask. Just
do it.
- Bring Something to Share- A bottle of wine, a
side dish, a game, a fun story. Always bring something to share
with the group.
- Offer to Help, or Demand It- So many times
hosts will deny they need help in the kitchen or setting up. Even
if you ask "Can I help?" Don't take no for answer. A better
question would be to say " What can I do?" If they say nothing I
usually follow up by saying "Please, let me do something I love to
work in the kitchen and I have idle hands" This usually does the
trick, and I am now part of the experience.
- Help Clean Up Afterwards- Want invited back? I
don't care if you are the patriarch of the family. Pick up your
dish.
- Host the Next Event- Offer to host the next
event that is happening and follow through.
- Ask if You Can Bring a Friend-Sometimes
considered a risky question, I personally love when guests ask if
they can bring someone. Def don't show up with a stranger without
asking.
- Follow Up Text- Just a quick thank you to show
you had a good time and appreciate being invited!
- French Goodbye- Do this at a large party.
Don't break up the event and start the domino goodbye effect. It is
a curse. Obviously for small gatherings tell the guest you have to
leave.
- Don't Overstay Your Welcome- Read the room. If
hosts are yawning a lot and fidgeting. Time to go!
Obviously, there are a lot of ideas when it comes to hosting an
event in your home. These are just some of my opinions. For me
personally, I want an experience with the host, and would love to
be involved as much as I can be to help. It is those memories that
make the best times!
Please remember that someone out there would love to hang at
your place, that someone is probably me. :) Don't be afraid to
host, AND be a great guest. Hoping for great gatherings this
holiday season for all of you!
Speaking of being inclusive- I host a donation based stress
relief and meditation class every Sunday online at 8pm. In addition
to seeing my regular students, when new faces pop up on my screen
to join, it makes me SO happy. I send out the email link on my
newsletter each week and I really hope you will join us! You don't
need prior experience. We breathe, we stretch, we calm the mind and
connect. Come join us :)