May 18, 2022
This is a subject I have avoided writing or speaking about. I think this avoidance was unconscious, but I am now highly aware of it. I am aware of it because at many a time in my life I have suffered from self doubt, imposter syndrome (I didn't even know that existed until two years ago), and confidence issues.
This month is particularly bad for me. I could not understand why I would awaken to dread and sadness. I felt on many days no motivation at all. I know I am still healing from grief, but it was more than that. Something was nagging at me, and I realized it was my own self doubt.
I have my sailing retreats coming up, and I am excited for them, but there is still availability for my June one. The fact that I have spots available make me feel bad about myself. "You are a failure."Another hit was a I post I put out called How To Build Your Own Toolbox, and it didn't gain much traction. "People don't care, maybe you should give up the podcast." I asked a question on Facebook and received lack luster responses. "Maybe people are annoyed with me?"
As these feelings of self doubt were bubbling within me, I saw a post from a girl who had 30,000 likes about candles of all things. I heard about a friend that is having much success hosting her own retreat.
I was seeing so much happiness online, so much success of others, that it had me questioning my own.
Now, let me pause here and say that maybe deep down I know I am enough, I KNOW I am making progress in my life. I know I am in such a better place than a year ago or even a day ago. I know I have so much love, success, and joy surrounding me.
Even then, folks... I was/am comparing myself to others, and it got the better of me.
People believe what they see. We don't know about the struggles human's face. We don't know how much it took them to announce something on the internet, or how they feel when they are offline. We don't know their loneliness or feelings of doubt. We just see the facade.
We now live in a high success/high reward culture. It is not our fault for having these feelings of inadequacy. I swear the internet is made to make you feel inadequate, so don't feel bad.
The real question is? How do we stop feeling this way? What steps can we take to feel confident, radiant, more creative, and the freakin unicorn that we are?!
"Don't compare your life to others. There is no comparison between the Sun and the Moon. They shine when it's their time."
The moment we start comparing our lives to others, we begin to feel doubt, and uncertainty, that can lead to depression, sadness, and lack of confidence.
This is the reason I wanted to be a little vulnerable here on my show with this episode. I am not immune! I get mopey and down. I feel like I am not doing enough. I haven't succeeded enough. I haven't helped people enough. I feel this so often. The struggle is real, and I know there are many others that feel the same as I do.
So what do we do when these feeling arise?
Here are some suggestions when you feel down and find yourself in the comparison game.
Also, I wanted to touch on not just comparing yourself to others, but the fact that we have a tendency for self comparison. You are not beholden to things you have done in the past. I have done some incredible things in my 40 years, and sometimes instead of being proud of them, I find myself comparing the present self to what I have done! Isn't that nuts?! I know it is nuts, and still... it happens. The mind is tricky.
All the successes I have had, at one point or another I have thought to myself... "Ok, yeah you hosted that game show, You gonna do another? Make it bigger?' "You did that treasure dive... You dove the Atocha for treasure...What comes next, Marta? How are you gonna top that?" I know I am not the only one here.
Humans are funny, aren't they? You have to laugh sometimes. I personally have to steady myself often. How do I do this? Let's go back to positive affirmations. Which ones should you use? I will go over five of some of my favorites, but feel free to find inspiration for yours anywhere. Write them down frequently.
Remember to be gentle with yourself, and know also that this wave will pass. If you enjoyed this, check out one of my past episodes talking about building yourself a toolbox when you feel low. It really helps me, and hope it helps you too!
I would love to know about what you would like to hear about next! Shoot me an email and say hello :) Thank you for sharing this space with me and tuning in. Feel free to review on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Yoga Sailing Retreat Greece- June 18th- 25th. My Sicily trips are sold out, but Greece is still open and I would love to explore with you. Come sail the seas with me. It is going to be incredible and space is limited.
For more information or to book your spot head to Med Sailing Holidays
I invite you to come join my Sunday evening Stress Relief classes. I started them for myself, and then turned them into a pay what you can class. I would love for you to join me each Sunday at 8pm EST :)
ALSO if you can't roll with me overseas this year, stay local! My friend Elizabeth Craig and I are hosting a women onlyTransformation Retreat near Pittsburgh. Sept 8-11th. Registration is now open!
Taking five new meditation clients for July. Email firstname.lastname@example.org if interested
As always I am not a doctor or Guru. By listening to this podcast or reading this blog, you agree not to use this podcast or blog as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, including but not limited to patients that you are treating. Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast or blog.